How can anyone possibly prepare you for how much you will love your child?! It's impossible. My heart grows warmer every day that I spend with my little boy. He is the most amazing thing in my world. Next to getting married (to an incredible man), giving birth was the best thing I've done with my life (thus far!).
I'm still struggling greatly with my return to work. Every day it's a race to get home. Time with Hayden is so precious. I usually return home from a long day away, only to find a very tired and cranky baby. Within 30 minutes, he's generally ready to have a nap and I have to force myself to put him in his crib. When he finally does wake again, it's time for dinner, bath and then to bed. It breaks my heart.
It's not fair! Two hours of awake time each day...that's all I get. I just want to spend time with my baby while he's awake and in good spirits. (Disclaimer - Babe, I know you have even less time with him, and it breaks my heart for you even more.)
I find myself in tears most evenings as I continue to struggle with the conflict between work and home. I don't understand the comments from people who say "it'll get easier" or "you'll get into a routine".
No, it's not getting easier; on the contrary, it's getting harder. The more Hayden grows and develops, the more I long to be a part of his day. I wish there were a way to continue in my career, but find the time during the day to spend with my child. Until then, I should just buy stock in the tissue company.
1 comment:
Hey I just stumbled onto your blog while looking around here, I have to tell you that your baby is ADORABLE! What a sweetie pie!
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