Who are you my friend, an angel?

This post is directed at one very special person in my life. An angel on earth.

In my room, I have a poem named "I have an Angel" on my wall. It reads:

Just as sure as the tide is part of the sea,
I have an angel who walks with me.
She's a faithful companion send down from above,
A vision of beauty - symbolic of love.

I know she protects me for I feel her light,
In the brighness of day and the dark of the night.
She's a comforting force with harmonious ways,
And gently she guides me through all of my days.

She's there to console me when I'm feeling blue,
And her presence is felt during joyful times too.
With no secrets between us - no cause to pretend,
I'm bonded for life to my heavenly friend.

You may not fully understand the impact you have on others. Your generosity and caring has touched our lives deeply. While I do not know your face, I know you are full of tenderness and grace. Your outreach is overwhelming. Your heart is generous.

Truly, you have a direct ticket into heaven. Some day I may learn who you are, but until then I can only hope you know everything you have done is so appreciated.

I was meant to be a Mom

The more time I spend as a Mom, the more amazed I am by my children. Granted, I've been a mother for less than two years. I feel like I was made to be a mother. Only two weeks after having Madison, I felt that THIS was my job. This is my purpose...motherhood. And what a grand reason to be.




Is this even me, writing these words? Just a few years ago, the thought of carrying a child and giving birth scared me to no end. What women in her right mind would put her body through such stress intentionally?

Here I am now, a mother of two... and I'd do it again in a heart beat. I have been blessed by God to have had such wonderful pregnancies and births. Some nights I lay in bed and relive the birth of my two beautiful children in my mind. I had little discomfort; the rooms were quiet and peaceful; and giving birth was a joy. Honestly, it was! I actually miss being pregnant. Am I crazy or just lucky? I would say that I was blessed.

I marvel at what my body can do and has done. It is a profound miracle what a woman's body can accomplish...all on its own. The odds of one tiny egg and one tiny sperm, melding together in perfect unison, to create one perfect life are staggering.

Thank you God, for my two beautiful gifts from heavan. I love you for my precious gifts.

More Summer Memories

Summer fun

One of the silver linings in Dennis' job loss is that we had lots of time to head to New Hampshire this summer. We were fortunate to have Grandma and Grandpa babysit for one or both of the children to partake in all of the local glory. It's such a beautiful place. It was so nice to get to have some quality time with my parents...even in the midst of newborn cries and toddler tantrums.

One of my mom's favorite times is when the entire family (8 adults and 8 children) are visiting for July 4. We always try to get a family photo.

July 4, 2009


















As is our tradition, we spent the 4th of July at Heather's parents' place in Wolfeboro, NH. Hayden really enjoyed the music in the parade. Little Madison slept through the whole thing.

This was Madison's second trip to New Hampshire. We're taking advantage of the whole family being home and getting away as most as possible. Her first vacation was only at 3 weeks of age! Lucky girl.

Introducing Madison Mae

Early Sunday morning, May 17, I started having contractions. I woke around 3:15 am with lots of cramping and pains. I checked the clock and felt them coming every 10 minutes or so. I could actually feel things opening…sounds funny to write that, but it’s true. I just knew that labor had started and my body was getting ready for this baby to arrive. I debated whether to wake Dennis or not. Since we were due to be at the hospital for 8 am, I decided to do my best to rest and work through the cramping.

Shortly before 8:00, I kissed Hayden good bye and off we went! The nurse got my IV started and my doctor came in shortly after 9:00. He asked permission to break my water to help things along. He checked and found that I was already at 4 cm. I knew it! He broke my water (barely a trickle –which was why he wanted to induce me) and they started the pitocin.

By 10:45 things were moving along quickly. Contractions were approximately 2 ½ - 3 minutes apart. I was dealing well with the pains. At 11:00 the nurse checked and found I was dilated to 5-6 cm. I tried to tough things out and go without any meds, but I finally gave in and asked for an epidural. 11:25 I had the epidural started, but it only took on one side. Almost immediately I started shaking uncontrollably. The same thing happened with Hayden’s labor.

My doctor returned to check – 6 cm. I could feel the contractions quite strongly on my left side. Dennis tried to help keep me still and talk me through them. At 12:15 my nurse decided I should be checked. I honestly don’t remember what I said or did that prompted her to do so. She checked and exclaimed that I was 10 cm!!! She said the baby was “knocking at the door and ready to make her appearance.” Wow…from 6 to 10 cm in only 35 minutes!

They quickly paged my doctor who had headed out for lunch. I was instructed to remain still and not to push until the doctor arrived. I stayed calm and relaxed and continued to breathe through the contractions. I think that really helped to allow my body to do the work it needed to do on it’s own. It took almost 25 mins for him to get back to my room. The doctor told me to push with the next contraction. I started pushing and her head was crowning. With the third contraction (honestly…just three!), I pushed and felt her head emerge…and she was born. (12:51 pm) I had the most amazing birth with no tearing or episiotomy. I’m very, very lucky!

6lbs 15 oz, 19 1/4"















Daddy and big brother Hayden














Click here for more pictures!

Madison's Nursery

Dennis and I worked to create a magical "girly" room for our new bundle of joy. We're so proud of how it came out. Thanks E for the extra stripe idea...what do you think?
If you can believe, everything in the room was either on sale or a left over item from another project!! I feel like we should submit pictures to HGTV's Design on a Dime. ;)

Curtains - $2.99!!
Crib - floor model
Dresser - floor model
Table - clearance & re-painted to match
Paint - donated; designed by Heather
Built in shelves - Dennis
Wall letters - Heather's art work

Click on the image to see it larger.

Big brother Hayden inspecting the dresser.

To my special friend

Since receiving tough news in February with Dennis' job elimination and my reduction, we've been quite nervous about our financial situation. With baby number two due to arrive shortly, it's become a heavy burden in our hearts.

We've been blessed by several friends and strangers who have offered us several gifts. A fellow mom donated an entire box of baby girl clothing for our daughter. A neighbor has given us bags full of hand-me-down clothing for Hayden. A very generous anonymous friend has sent us several gift cards for groceries and household goods.

Dear Special Friend,

I don't know who you are, but I hope you read this message. Your generosity has come at such a humbling time in our lives. Never had I imagined being in a situation such as this. I sometimes lay awake at night wondering how we will manage the mortgage, day care, and daily household expenses come July.

Your gifts have been so unexpected and so, so appreciated. I hope you know how unbelievably caring and thoughtful you are. We never anticipated anything beyond one mysterious gift card, but imagine our surprise when something appeared more than once.

Please know that your gifts are going to good use and are TRULY appreciated more than words can express. You are an angel and have truly touched us. I wish I could hug you...whomever you are.

Much love from us!!!

Easter 2009

Hayden did great this year in visiting the Easter Bunny. He was a little unsure of that great big furry guy, but he did just fine.

He had a lot of fun playing with all of the toys in his Easter basket. He had the most fun with taking the plastic eggs out and putting them back in. What a cutie pie with his bunny ears!

Swinging Toddler

April 5, 2009

Our wild boy definately takes after his Daddy. Push higher Daddy!!! Wee!!

Yellow Flag

March 5, 2009

Just back from my bi-weekly OB appt. My doctor is raising the "yellow" flag with a few concerns about the baby's growth. I'm still measuring about three weeks behind in size. I have to begin going for weekly appointments to have a BPP (bio physical) exam on the baby. They want to check her growth and make sure her heart is developing on track.

In addition, every four weeks I'll get another in depth ultrasound to measure the baby's growth. I'm perfectly happy to start getting more glimpses of our little girl, but I admit to being anxious about what it means to her health. I'm a little scared. I asked him if this could be brought on by extreme stress and he assured me that I'm being a good mother.

February 26, 2009

Today was a good day. Dennis and I got to see our baby girl again. I had an appointment for an extra measurement ultra sound to check on baby girl's growth. I'm measuring about three weeks behind in size so the doctor ordered the extra scan.

It was a very fast appointment, but very exciting nonetheless. I'll gladly take every chance I get to take an extra look at our little girl. Little is right; She's measuring at 2 lb 7 oz which is only the 40th percentile at this stage. She's burrowed low in my pelvis, just as I suspected.

Little is just fine with me. She can grow big and strong once she graces us with her presence.

Plan B, Where are you?

February 19, 2009

It's been a very difficult week in our household with lots of scary news. Last week, I was given news that my position will be cut from full-time to part-time beginning July 1. The news hit hard as a complete shock. I never imagined that my position was in jeapardy.

Being the financial head of the house adds an added burden on an already stressed pregnant woman. My job carries all health insurance, pension, and flex spending. The cut in hours (40 to 26) will severely cut my take home pay to half it's normal amount.

Just one week later, Dennis was given his pink slip at the end of his work day....no warning! His boss approached him at the end of the day with the news that it would be his last day. As you can imagine, it's devastating news. Both of our incomes are necessary, never mind having them both slashed or eliminated concurrently!

I've not been sleeping and am in constant distress over the situation. I cry; I eat; I get headaches. I'm stuck. I can't look for a new position being six months pregnant. All I can do is try my best to focus on staying healthy until the baby is born.

God always has a plan B. That's what I'm told and am trying to believe. Dennis is reaching out to contacts and hoping to secure a new position. I'm also doing what I can to figure out how we can make this work. More than likely I'll need to secure a part-time job or find a new job altogether. It's not what I was planning.

Be careful what you wish for, right? I've been longing to spend more time with Hayden. This just isn't the method I was hoping for. OK God, we'll do our best to leave this in your hands. Our needs are always met; we just need to believe everything will work out for the best.

Until then, we'll do our best to keep our chins up and continue to look up for guidance.

Hayden turns one!

January 21, 2009

I'm feeling a bit blue as I look at my little man and think back to one year ago as we brought him home from the hospital. Everyone always says it, but the time does go by much too quickly.

Over the weekend Hayden was having a rough time with his molar (9 1/2 teeth now!) and trying to settle down in his crib. He'd only stay calm if I held my hand on his chest. It made me think back to when he was an infant and how we had to soothe him to sleep early on. Where does it go!?

I picked him up to cuddle and hold him and whamo...the tears started to flow. I just love this little man more than I ever thought possible!

It's so amazing to watch his development. He's so excited when he learns something new. The look on his faces just cries "Mommy, look what I did!!" It's so precious. I just love this little guy!!!

He was so excited by his "woof" cake!

Didn't care too much for sticking his fingers into the frosting. Mommy, what is this icky stuff on my finger?



















And here he is post party...completely tuckered out.

Christmas Fun!

Christmas 2008

Hayden got to meet Santa Claus at day care. He did well, but wasn't too sure about that strange man holding him.


















He really liked his "woofie" Christmas stocking. He thought it was so much fun to cuddle with.

One of Hayden's favorite gifts was his big learning kitchen from Grandma Carol and Grandpa Paul.

Daddy's Hat

December 21, 2008

I love to try on Daddy's big hat.














I couldn't resist putting this picture up. I love the expression on Hayden's face!